Reckless Beginnings Read online

  John was beginning to lose his patience with his daughter. They went through this every time he visited. He saw the shock on her face when he raised his voice at her. “You’re only fifteen years old, for God’s sake! You have your whole life ahead of you. There’s plenty of time for you to move to the States. If that’s what you truly want in a few years, we’ll discuss it then, understood?”

  As hard as she pleaded, she knew he had made his decision and it was final. She was to finish her schooling in England. Two more bloody years of being unable to look for any clues or leads as to the whereabouts of her sister. It upset her tremendously. What if she was in danger? A lot could happen in two years. She hated not knowing. She needed to know something. Anything. She couldn’t wait until she was legally an adult. But, at least by then, no one could tell her what she could or couldn’t do.

  * * *

  That was the last time Tammy had seen her father. She was now seventeen and living in her own flat in the northern city of Leeds. Donna still hadn’t been found. If she was still alive, she’d be twenty years old. Tammy had to believe she was. She couldn’t bear the thought that she might be dead.

  Her flat was a place of convenience. Somewhere to eat, sleep, and bathe. She had made no efforts to make it feel like a home. The walls were white and bare with no pictures or decorations. She had little furniture; just the basics to get her by: a bed, chairs, couch, table, a TV, and a few bookshelves. She would make her real home in America.

  Tammy didn’t know how, but some way, she was going to get to the States. She’d lost faith in her father helping her. For the past five years, he had point blank refused her requests. But the pay of a waitress wasn’t much and didn’t go far. After paying her monthly bills, she had little left over for the so-called “America Fund.”

  After completing school, she was anxious to leave home and took a job in the restaurant of a five-star hotel, working mainly nights. The job required no previous experience or special training, and she was hired the same day. Tammy figured she could always look for a better job later, if she was still in the country. But, for now, it was a way to make her own money and begin saving for her move to the States.

  While still in England, nothing in her life could be permanent. Even her boyfriend, Ian, whom she’d met three months ago at a disco. It was his dancing that caught her attention. He danced exceptionally well and wasn’t afraid to dance alone. He was somewhat attractive, but if it weren’t for his moves on the dance floor, she’d probably never have noticed him. His hair was dusty brown and cut short. She’d never really liked short hair on a man, but it suited him. He was a little bit taller than her five-eleven frame and skinny for a man of his height. Like most English people, including herself, his skin was pale, almost the color of ivory, and his freckles were plentiful on his arms, the tops of his hands, and all across his nose and cheeks.

  He noticed her smiling and swaying her hips to the beat of the music as she watched him from the edge of the dance floor. He returned the smile along with a playful wink. He turned his body toward her, moving it in a suggestive manner as he held out his hand, inviting her to join him, which she did.

  That was the beginning of their causal relationship with no strings attached. That night, Tammy took him home to her flat, where they frolicked beneath the sheets until the sun came up. In the three short months they’d know each other, she still knew very little about him apart from the fact that he was a waiter at a tearoom and still lived with his parents. She didn’t need to know anything else. It was the perfect relationship; when she needed a little bit of fun, he was just a phone call away, but she chose not to share with him anything about her plans to someday move to America. She had a mission, and nothing or nobody was going to stop her.

  Chapter 2

  It came as no surprise to the family that Jenny was going to marry Stuart. It had been expected since they started dating in grammar school when she was just fifteen. Being the most domesticated of the three girls, Jenny wanted nothing more than to settle down, buy a house, and start a family.

  Tammy was pleased to hear that her father would be attending the wedding. Her mother asked that she reserve him a room at the hotel where she worked, which Tammy happily did.

  On the day of his anticipated arrival, Tammy paced around the restaurant nervously, still trying to do her job while waiting for the announcement that her father was in the building. She wasn’t going to ask him if she could go back to America with him this time. She already knew what the answer would be. His stay would be brief, as usual—three days—enough time to arrive, spend the night, attend the wedding, and leave the next day. Nonetheless, she wasn’t going to deny that it would be good to see him and catch up.

  It was over six months ago when Tammy last spoke to her father on the phone; that’s when she learned she had a new step-mother called Joanne and a two-month-old half-brother called Andrew. She had felt a tinge of jealousy toward her unknown new sibling. She had always enjoyed being the youngest child, using it to her advantage in her earlier years by bribing her older sisters when she busted them doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. She had often used her title as “the baby sister” for never getting accused of any wrongdoings. Her parents always believed she was just too young and innocent, but in most cases, she had to admit she probably was the guilty party. Whether it be for drinking from their father’s gin bottle, stealing cigarettes from their parents, or using their mother’s makeup, Tammy joyfully watched while her sisters took the blame for such deceitful actions. Even at seventeen, there was still something special about being the youngest child. So, now that she had a half-brother of over sixteen years her junior, her title, in her eyes, had been stolen. Tammy felt cheated.

  Polishing silverware, Tammy’s mind was consumed with a plethora of family issues when the deep voice of her boss, John-Pierre, the maître d’ of the restaurant, called across the room. His loud, thick French accent snapped her out of her thoughts. “Tammy, your father’s here. He’s waiting for you in the bar.”

  Jean-Pierre was a typical Frenchman. Aged around mid-fifties, he was pudgy and round with fat rosy cheeks and a full head of jet-black hair. His thick black moustache covered his upper lip and curled up into little circles at the ends. Growing up in Paris, France, he’d worked at some of the finest restaurants before moving to England with his family four years ago to learn the English language.

  “And please, make it quick. You’re still on the floor for another hour,” he added.

  “Thanks, Jean-Pierre. I won’t be long.”

  Always feeling nervous around her father and constantly seeking his approval, Tammy stalled to quickly run her fingers through her red hair and smooth out her polyester uniform, which consisted of a dark blue mid-length skirt and a white blouse. She remembered hearing the disappointment in his voice over the phone when she told him she was a waitress.

  As Tammy walked toward the bar, she pictured her father sitting alone with a Guinness Stout in one hand and a cigarette in the other while fully concentrating The Times crossword puzzle. She peered through the double glass doors before entering and spotted him immediately. The image of her father was exactly as she had predicted.

  Slowly approaching him, she realized one thing was missing: the cigarette. In silence, she stood behind him for a moment, chuckling to herself that he wasn’t aware of her presence. She gave him a gentle tap on the shoulder. “Hi Dad!”

  Her father removed his glasses, turned his head in her direction, and gave her a big smile. “Tammy! Good to see you,” he said, giving her a hug.

  “You too, Dad. It’s been a while. I couldn’t help noticing that you’re not smoking. Crossword puzzles and cigarettes always went together,” she said jokingly. “Don’t tell me you’ve packed it in?”

  “Actually, yes, I did,” he said with a hint of pride. “It’s been about four months now. I guess we haven’t talked on the phone in a while, huh? But, if I can do it, so can you,” he said, nudgin
g her arm.

  Tammy was shocked. Never did she imagine her father would quit smoking. “Wow, Dad, that’s brilliant! And you smoked a lot too. About two packs a day, right? How’d you do it? Cold turkey?”

  “No, cold turkey proved too difficult, so I weaned myself off gradually. It took some time, but now I feel marvelous!” He gave her another nudge to the arm. “You really should give it a go, you know.”

  “Nah, I’m still young, Dad. I can wait a few more years. Besides, I enjoy them too much!” she said with a laugh before glancing down at her watch. “I’m terribly sorry, Dad, but I have to make this short. I’m still working, but I get off in about an hour. Will that crossword puzzle keep you busy till then? I can meet you back here after I’ve finished my shift.”

  “Sure, that’s fine. I’m all checked in.”

  “Great! I’ll look forward to it. We certainly have some catching up to do. I hear you’ve been traveling all over the world to promote your new book?” She checked the time once more. “Anyway, I really do have to get back to work before Jean-Pierre kills me.” After a quick hug and a peck on his cheek, Tammy returned to the restaurant thinking how good it was to see her father again after such a long time.

  Chapter 3

  Now older, her anger dissolved, Tammy accepted the fact that it wasn’t up to her father to fulfill her dreams of moving to the States. So, after finishing her shift, Tammy spent the rest of the evening with him, catching up on family news. He explained how being a writer had become much more challenging with an eight-month-old baby in the house, and he told her all about her new stepmom and half-brother as Tammy smiled and laughed along at his stories. Tammy then dropped the bombshell question, which is when the conversation took on a more somber mood.

  “Any news on Donna, Dad?”

  “No, I’m afraid not. When I moved to Lonesridge in Northern California last year, I left my new address and phone number with the children’s home and the police.”

  “I’m really scared that something bad may have happened to her. It’s been three years since she disappeared and we haven’t heard anything.”

  “I know. Me too, Tammy. The police have nothing to go on. It’s like she just vanished. No one has seen her, and no one recognizes her from any of the photos that were circulated. I also gave them your mother’s new number when she moved to that house in London to be a nanny, and they have your number and Jenny’s, too.”

  “Yeah, Mom loves working again. Apparently, the family is well off and they treat her like a queen. I guess our old house was just too big for her after we all moved out.” Tammy suddenly had a thought. “You know, it just occurred to me that we all have new phone numbers since Donna disappeared. What if she’s tried calling one of our old numbers? We’d never know it. What a frightening thought. She has no idea where any of us are.” Tammy reached for her father’s arm. “Dad, she’s out there somewhere with no way of calling us to ask for help!”

  He patted Tammy’s hand. “I hope that’s not the case. I have to tell myself every day that she’s okay and there’s a perfectly good explanation why she hasn’t contacted any of us. You might not agree with me, but it’s how I keep my sanity when it comes to Donna.”

  “I understand. I just miss her so much. I try not to have terrible thoughts, but the more time goes by, the harder it gets.”

  Her father leaned in and gave her a gentle hug. “I know. Let’s hope that someday soon, she’ll return to us safe.” He paused and smiled. “On another note, I spoke to your mother yesterday. She told me she’ll be arriving tomorrow.”

  “Yes, she’s taking the train up early in the morning. She’s going to stay with Jenny for the weekend and take a late train back on Sunday night. She’s looking forward to seeing you, Dad. She was upset when she first heard about you marrying again, but she’s okay with it now. It’s great how you’ve remained friends.”

  “Your mother and I had three wonderful daughters together. I screwed up our marriage, and it’s only thanks to your mother that we have any kind of relationship today. It’s her you should thank.”

  It saddened Tammy that Donna would miss her twin sister’s wedding. She often wondered how Jenny was coping with her disappearance. She rarely spoke about it. Maybe it was just too hard. Growing up, they looked identical. Both had long, straight brown hair, light blue eyes with short eyelashes, and a fair complexion. If you didn’t know that Donna had a slight curl to her smile and was a little skinnier than Jenny, you wouldn’t be able to tell them apart. And, like most mothers of twins, Rose always dressed them in the same outfits.

  Before saying goodnight to her father, Tammy arranged to meet him in the lobby the next day at noon. It seemed much easier for Tammy than trying to give him directions to her place. From there, they would ride together in her father’s rental car to the wedding.

  * * *

  Because they were saving to buy a house, Jenny and Stuart had chosen to have a small, simple wedding with family members and a few close friends, followed by a buffet at a local hotel. Jenny looked radiant in her beautiful white gown, carrying a delicate bouquet of white roses and peonies. Tammy felt a twinge of jealousy as she watched Jenny walking down the aisle to her soon-to-be husband, saying her vows, and beginning her new path in life with solid plans for the future. It was far more than she’d ever had.

  With the wedding ceremony over, Tammy had a chance to catch up with her mother. It had been a few months since they’d last seen each other. She missed her mother and always cherished their time together. Dressed in a cream-colored, knee-length dress with matching pumps and purse, Tammy’s mother still had a slim figure, as always, and looked much younger than her age. Her makeup was light and fresh and her blond hair glistened in the sun. Her eyes sparkled and she looked genuinely happy.

  Tammy told her how great she looked and her mother chuckled and confided in her that she had a new boyfriend. Having only seen her mother with her father, and with no inclination that she had dated anyone since the divorce, Tammy was surprised by the news. It was going to take some time to adjust to the idea of her dating somebody else, but she was delighted for her and it brought comfort to Tammy, knowing her mother wasn’t alone.

  After the reception, Tammy’s father mentioned he wanted to have a chat with her and Rose and suggested going to the bar at the hotel where he was staying. Tammy rode with her father while her mother stayed behind to say goodbye to the last of the lingering guests, promising she’d take a taxi to the hotel shortly.

  An hour later, they regrouped at a quiet corner table in the hotel bar. After taking a sip of his Guinness, a cheeky grin appeared across John’s face, directed solely at Tammy. He leaned back in his chair with his arms folded over his chest. “So, Tammy, what do you think about coming back to the States with me?”

  Rendered speechless with her eyes wide open, Tammy froze. Repeating in her head what her father had just said. Did he just ask me to go to America with him? Still holding her glass in mid-air, unable to contain her excitement, she screamed, “What! Are you serious?”

  Other customers stared in her direction, silently questioning her sudden outburst. In fear of spilling her drink, Tammy placed it on the table before jumping up from her seat and running over to her father to give him the biggest hug he’d ever had. She didn’t need to think about her answer. “I would love to!” she squealed. “When do we leave? I’m ready right now!”

  John laughed at his daughter’s enthusiasm. “Now hold on a second, Tammy,” he said, peeling her grip from around his neck. “There are some details we need to discuss first.” He looked over at Rose and his smile quickly disappeared. “Like your mother, for instance,” he mumbled under his breath.

  Rose’s eyes had narrowed and darkened immensely, pulling the skin tight across her flushed cheeks, and her lips drew into a thin line as she scowled across the table at her ex-husband. It suddenly occurred to him that he perhaps should have discussed his idea with her before asking Tammy, but it was too late now.
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  “Rose, are you okay with this?” John asked, a look of guilt painted across his pale face.

  Rose sat up straight and rolled her shoulders back. She wanted to make him feel uncomfortable. He was wrong to ask Tammy to move with him at such short notice, especially with no prior mention to her of his ridiculous idea. “Well, it’s quite a shock, John. You never mentioned taking Tammy back with you until now. Don’t you think that’s a little unfair? Why hadn’t you talked to me about this earlier instead of surprising me like this? You know I’ll never see her again if she moves to the States. Look what happened to Donna. No one has seen or heard from her since she left with you. She could be dead for all we know.”

  John shook his head impatiently. “Oh, don’t talk like that!”

  “Well, she could be. We don’t know. It’s been three years since anyone has heard from her. I’m not losing another daughter, John.” Her voice raised a notch with every word. She was almost on the verge of tears.

  Tammy walked over to her mother. “Oh, come on, Mom, don’t be like this. I’ll keep in touch and I’m not going to disappear, I promise,” she pleaded as she wrapped her arms around her mother’s shoulders.

  Rose looked up and met Tammy’s eyes. “But when will I see you again? I can’t afford to fly to the States every year to come visit you.”

  John quickly raised his arms to calm them both down. “Okay, guys, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. This could just be a trial. She may not even like it in the States and may very well choose to move back to England.”

  “Not bloody likely,” Tammy whispered under her breath.

  John paused for a moment. He was walking on eggshells and needed to find a way to please them both. Choosing his next words carefully, looking directly at Rose, he said, “If she likes it, I promise I’ll send you a ticket to come visit her. If she doesn’t, then I’ll buy her a ticket to return home and provide for her until she finds a job. How would that be?”