Reckless Beginnings Read online

  A silence descended over the table while Rose contemplated John’s suggestion. Tammy and her father held their breath with anticipation. Both thought it was a good plan, but it seemed Rose had the final say.

  After a few moments, Tammy grew impatient. “Oh, come on, Mom! What do you think? We’ll still see each other. Please, Mom, just say yes. You know how much I’ve wanted this…and for how long. Please say yes. Please!” she begged while squeezing her mother’s hand tightly.

  With a moment of hesitation, Rose gave them her decision. “Okay, Tammy, I guess you can go.” She didn’t want to see the disappointment on her daughter’s face if she’d said no. In the same breath, Rose quickly turned, pointed her index finger at John, and stiffened her voice. “You better take good care of her, John.” Raising her voice, she continued to speak. “And don’t you dare lose contact with her, like you did with Donna.” She turned and looked at Tammy. “And you must promise me, Tammy, that you’ll write to me every chance you get.”

  Rose felt her body tremble as she hugged her youngest child. Was she doing the right thing by allowing yet another daughter to move so far away to another country? Silently, she blamed John. If it wasn’t for him moving to America in the first place, she wouldn’t be having this conversation or having these fears, and Donna would still be in their lives. With tears in her eyes, Tammy hugged her mother tightly and promised to write as often as she could. She couldn’t believe she was finally going to America!

  Chapter 4

  After the initial shock had sunk in and her mother had been persuaded that everything was going to be okay, the rest of the evening was spent discussing the move.

  Overjoyed and riddled with excitement, Tammy couldn’t believe this was finally happening. On the contrary, it warmed Rose’s heart to see such a joyous smile on her daughter’s face. Even though she was going to miss Tammy deeply, she was truly happy for her. She knew in her heart it was time to stop being selfish and, perhaps more importantly, it was time to let her go.

  John told them he would be in England for another week. He was leaving tomorrow to go down south to Surrey to visit his sister, Maddie, and his brother-in-law, Dave. While there, he would purchase Tammy’s plane ticket and she could take the train down at the end of the week. They would then leave from Heathrow Airport in London the following Monday.

  Tammy soon realized she had a lot to do in just seven days. She had to decide what she wanted to take with her. The airline would only allow her to take one suitcase, which meant she would have to donate the rest of her things to charity or give them to friends at work. She also needed to give notice to her landlord and her manager at work. Sadly, she realized she wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to Jenny. She would still be on her honeymoon on the day of her departure. Tammy had no doubt Jenny would be crushed, but what could she do? She was afraid if she didn’t go now, her father may never ask her again.

  With so much to do in so little time, the week flew by quickly. When Tammy wasn’t working, she spent every spare moment going through her belongings, deciding what to keep and what to part with. She had friends from work coming by every day, taking the things she no longer wanted such as clothes, dishes, records, books, and furniture. Where had all this stuff come from? She never realized how much junk she’d accumulated.

  Tammy knew she was going to need to set a day aside for the three-hour train ride to Surrey so gave five days’ notice to her landlord and her job. She appreciated their understanding and both expressed how excited they were for her. Everyone at work was truly happy for her. Some even confessed how envious they were and most agreed they needed to get together for a going away party. It wasn’t every day someone from work was moving to America, they proclaimed.

  By the end of the week, Tammy had managed to get rid of most of her possessions, except for the bed, which she planned on leaving behind. With all her dishes gone, she was now eating only take-out meals—it was as good an excuse as any to live on junk food for a few days. Her one suitcase was packed with clothing, toiletries, a few photographs, and a few of her favorite books.

  Tonight was going to be her last night at work. Tomorrow, she would be taking the train down to Surrey to meet up with her father. She couldn’t believe how fast the week had gone by and yet, to her surprise, she had managed to tick off everything on her to-do list. Tammy was ready for her big move to the States. There was no turning back now. Deep down, she was extremely nervous and couldn’t deny the anxiety bubbling away in her stomach. England had been her only home. She would be leaving behind so much, including her mother, sister, and friends. She would no longer have a home to call her own and would have to find new restaurants and shops to call her favorites. After the move, the only people she will know will be her father and his wife Joanne, whom she had yet to meet. Tammy questioned if they would get along and, at times, even questioned if she was doing the right thing by leaving her whole life behind.

  When Tammy arrived at work, Jean-Pierre told her that he’d had to change the schedule, so she was now going to be closing the restaurant at eleven instead of getting off at nine. Tammy couldn’t hide her anger. “Jean-Pierre, how can you do this to me? You know it’s my last night,” she shrieked while stomping her feet in protest. “I was hoping to go out after work. I won’t get another chance!”

  “Oh, stop with your whining, Tammy,” he snapped in his fancy French drawl. “It couldn’t be prevented. Someone called in sick. What was I supposed to do? I know it’s your last night and I’m sorry.” He placed his hand on her shoulder. “Tell you what. Because I feel so awful about this, why don’t you let me buy you a drink at Danny’s pub after work?”

  Having calmed down after her initial outburst, and having no actual plans, Tammy accepted his invitation.

  Ten o’clock couldn’t come fast enough. It had been a busy night for the restaurant, and even though it was now closed, it would still take Tammy another hour to shut everything down before her shift was officially over. During her last hour, co-workers approached her to wish her well and say their goodbyes before leaving for the evening. Some even brought tears to her eyes with their heartfelt farewells.

  By eleven o’clock, she was the only one left. So much for a leaving party, she thought. The only task remaining was to turn off the lights. But, as Tammy stood by the switch, she hesitated and took one last look around the restaurant as if capturing the memories she would be taking with her. That’s when it hit her. It felt so real—she’d never see this place again. Not wanting to cry or become too emotional, she quickly turned off the lights, leaving only darkness behind her, and headed over to Danny’s pub to meet Jean-Pierre.

  Chapter 5

  After putting on a sweater over her uniform, Tammy stepped outside into the cold, damp night, only to be greeted by pouring rain. “Well, what a bloody surprise,” she mumbled to herself sarcastically. Rain was the one thing she wasn’t going to miss about England. Feeling irritated because she no longer owned an umbrella, Tammy pulled her sweater over her head to keep her hair dry and ran across the deserted streets to Danny’s pub. As she quickly scurried through the parking lot, she noticed it was full. “Wow, it’s busy here tonight,” she said while heading toward the entrance. When she reached the door, she saw there was a sign posted on it. Tammy squinted her eyes in the dim light and read the words out loud. “Closed for private party.”

  “Well, that’s just bloody great!” she yelled in disgust and looked up. The sky was turning darker by the second, unleashing torrents of increasingly heavy rain that was pelting the ground under her feet. “Now what am I going to do? This is turning out to be a bloody horrible night!”

  Tammy assumed Jean-Pierre had also seen the sign and gone home. Upset that the pub was closed on her last night, Tammy turned around and began walking back to the hotel so she could call a taxi to take her home. It looked like she was going to be spending her last evening alone. Dodging the ever-growing puddles as she hurried across the parking lot, she heard a mal
e voice call her name.

  “Tammy! Tammy! Wait!”

  She stopped and turned around, still partly hidden underneath her sweater. She squinted her eyes through the darkness and craned her neck forward, trying to recognize who was calling her. She couldn’t quite make out who it was. He was wearing a black overcoat and carrying a large black umbrella, which cast shadows over most of his face. As Tammy began to run toward him, the familiar silhouette of Jean-Pierre came into focus.

  Puzzled, she ducked under his umbrella and pulled her wet sweater back down over her head. “Jean-Pierre, why are you still here? There’s a private party inside. Look,” she said, pointing at the sign, “the pub is closed. I thought you’d already gone home. Do you want to go someplace else?”

  “It’s okay, they are letting the locals in. Come on, let us go inside, mon amie,” he replied.

  Feeling much better for knowing she wasn’t going to be spending her last night alone, Tammy linked arms with Jean-Pierre and threw him a smile. “Let’s go. I need that drink you promised me.”

  Once inside the pub, Tammy was amazed by how busy it was. Loud music was playing and people were dancing, laughing, and singing along to the music. Along one of the walls of the dance floor, she saw a buffet of delicious food. She felt like an intruder. This was a special party for someone, and she wasn’t supposed to be here. That was until she noticed the large banner spanning across the room that read “God help the U.S.A!” in large red, white, and blue letters.

  Shocked, she quickly spun around in a circle, trying to focus on the people amid the haze of cigarette smoke and flashing disco lights. It took a moment to sink in, but she soon realized they were the faces of all her co-workers from the restaurant. With a hand over her gaping mouth, Tammy turned back to face Jean-Pierre. “Oh my god! This party is for me? It’s a leaving party?” She still couldn’t quite believe her eyes.

  At that precise moment, everyone turned to face Tammy and yelled, “Surprise!” in unison while raising their glasses in her honor.

  Jean-Pierre wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a tight squeeze. Using his other hand, he handed her a glass of champagne from the table next to him. “For you,” he said with a huge grin. “It’s the drink I owe you.”

  Wiping the tears that were now rolling down her cheeks, Tammy took the glass of bubbly. “Oh my god, Jean-Pierre. How did you ever pull this off? This is just too weird! I had no idea you were planning this…I’m going to miss you all so, so much.”

  Jean-Pierre smirked. “Let me tell you, it was not easy. You are a hard one to keep a secret from. Now do you see why I had you close the restaurant? I had to make sure you were the last to arrive. I am sorry if I upset you, mon amie, but as you can see, my intentions were good.” He laughed as he hugged her one more time and raised his glass. “Here’s to you, Tammy. I wish nothing but the best for you and your new life in the States. We are all going to miss you incredibly. Especially that redhead attitude of yours that always kept us on our toes.”

  Tammy hugged him back. “Aww, thanks, Jean-Pierre. I’m going to miss you too.” They walked arm in arm toward the bar where everyone was gathered. Feeling like a celebrity and overwhelmed with different emotions, she made a point of greeting everyone with a tearful hug.

  Tammy spent the rest of the night hugging, laughing, and dancing with friends. Many tears were shed, memories were shared, and promises were made. Everyone seemed to want to know what plans she had for when she landed in the States, but she genuinely had no idea and replied she would figure it out once she got there.

  As the night drew to a close, Jean-Pierre held a shot of tequila, took Tammy’s hand, and led her to the center of the room. Everyone else grabbed their glasses and followed them. Jean-Pierre waited while the crowd formed a circle around him and Tammy. Feeling a little tipsy, Tammy could feel her emotions beginning to rise again. She squeezed Jean-Pierre’s hand harder, feeling the dam of tears in her eyes threatening to burst at any moment.

  The crowd stood in silence, waiting for Jean-Pierre to make his speech. He turned to Tammy, giving her a warm, loving smile. “Tammy, may all your dreams come true in America. It’s not going to be the same here without you. Be good to America and it will be good to you. We will truly miss you and we love you. Bon voyage!” Sweeping his raised glass in an arc toward the circle of friends, he added at the top of his voice, “To Tammy!”

  Everyone lifted their glasses and bottles in the air and yelled in reply, “To Tammy!” She embraced Jean-Pierre with force, staying in his arms for a moment as an uproar of applause and cheers filled the pub. Unable to control her tears, she allowed them to fall freely down her freckled cheeks as her lips trembled and her body shook with the burden of her imminent departure.

  As the pub began to empty, Tammy said goodbye to the last of her friends and fought to bring her emotions back under control. Jean-Pierre then called for a taxi to take Tammy home. When it arrived, she once again thanked Jean-Pierre for everything. Noticing she was unsteady on her feet, he took her arm and walked her out to the waiting car. As it began to pull away, Tammy turned her head to look through the rear window. Seeing Jean-Pierre still standing by the curb, she gave him one last wave, knowing it would be her last.

  Once inside her flat, still feeling a little drunk, Tammy knew she had one more thing to do. Something she had been avoiding all week but knew she could no longer put off. Even though it was almost three o’clock in the morning, the alcohol she had consumed was giving her the courage to finally get it done. Taking slow and careful steps so as not to stumble, she managed to totter over to her bed, sit on the edge and pick up the phone that was laying on the floor. The dial tone meant the phone company had not yet disconnected her services. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed to hear it. After she dialed the number, it rang three times before a sleepy voice answered. “Hello,” it said in a questionable tone.

  She took a deep breath. “Hi, Ian, it’s Tammy.”

  Ian instantly woke up.“Tammy! Where’ve you been? I’ve not seen you all week. I’ve called you millions of times, but you’ve never called me back.”

  “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry, I’ve been really busy.”

  “Is everything okay?” Ian asked.

  “I’m so sorry to be calling you at this hour, but there’s something I need to tell you.”

  “Couldn’t it have waited till morning?”

  “I’m afraid not.” There was a moment of silence between them while she hesitated.

  “Tammy, you still there?”

  “Yes, I’m still here, Ian.” She took another deep breath. “It can’t wait till morning because I won’t be here.”

  “You won’t be here? What do you mean you won’t be here? What’s going on?”

  “Ian, there’s no easy way to say this so I’m just going to come out and say it. I’m moving to the States with my dad. I leave tomorrow. I’m meeting him at my aunts in Surrey. I’ve been wanting to tell you, but I just didn’t know how. Please don’t be mad at me.”

  “You’re moving to the States? And you’re telling me this now, in the middle of the night, just hours before you’re fucking leaving! What about us, Tammy? What about your job and your flat? Doesn’t anything matter to you? Including me?”

  She decided she needed to be honest with him. “Ian, I’ve known for a week. Since my father asked me. I’ve already quit my job, and my flat is empty except for one suitcase. This is something I’ve wanted for a long time so when he asked me, I just couldn’t say no. I don’t know if he’ll ever ask me again and I’m not giving up this chance. I’m sorry, Ian, I don’t know what else to say.”

  “But what about us, Tammy?” Ian asked again.

  “I hate to say it, Ian, and I’m truly sorry, but it’s over. We’ve only been dating for a short while and we both knew it wasn’t serious. But, for me, moving to the States is serious. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you in any way, but my mind is made up. This is the reason I haven’t told yo
u up until now. I didn’t want you to try and talk me out of my decision.”

  Ian couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “But you just left me totally in the dark. I thought I deserved better than this. I wondered why I hadn’t seen you all week, or why you hadn’t returned my calls. So, that’s it, eh? Just like that. Poof! You’re gone.” He continued to speak, the anger and frustration clear in his voice. “I agree that we were just having some fun, but we were friends, Tammy. Well, at least, I thought we were. So this is how you treat your friends, eh?”

  “I said I was sorry. What more do you want me to say?”

  “What time are you leaving in the morning? Can I at least see you before you go? I deserve that much, don’t I?” He was almost snarling down the phone.

  Tammy didn’t blame him for being angry. She felt awful, mainly because she’d actually grown quite fond of him. “I’d much rather you didn’t. As difficult as this is, I think it’s best we just end it tonight.” She could feel the tears glazing over her eyes. Not wanting him to hear her cry, she spoke with a sense of urgency. “Ian, I really have to go. I need to get up early. It’s been nice knowing you and I had a lot of fun. I’ll never forget you. Be safe, Ian, and goodbye.” Before he could answer, she quickly hung up the phone and yanked the phone line out of the wall socket. She feared he may try to call back in an attempt to convince her to stay. She knew he wouldn’t show up at her door because, unlike her, he didn’t drive, couldn’t afford a taxi, and thankfully no buses ran in the wee hours of the morning.

  After a night of painful goodbyes, Tammy’s emotions were in turmoil. Feeling alone, insecure, and unsure of her future, she once again questioned the choices she was making in her life. With her head spinning and anxious for tomorrow to arrive, she lay on the bed and curled her body into the fetal position as if to protect herself from the inevitable. In no time at all, perhaps thanks to the alcohol, she drifted off to sleep.